Boundless Optimism
Aug. 15th, 2014 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rebeccmeisterFor the better part of the week, I've been pondering writing something entitled "Sloughing," about how it has been so far to live with reduced possessions. [short answer: I should've emptied out my wardrobe sooner!! I've hardly missed anything else!]
But it has been a difficult week, on both superficial and deep levels, so my mind has primarily been elsewhere. I'm only going to talk about one superficial example: on Tuesday, after posting about bike commuting, I experienced catastrophic bike-transit failure - so catastrophic it was pretty much ridiculous. I needed to get stuff at the library on the main campus, so towards the end of the day I biked over there, hauling the bike trailer. That took longer than I'd hoped, so there I was, running late, with all the extra weight and the bike trailer, trying to hustle my bustle out to Lake Bryan. I'd had the idea of stopping by the homestead to swap out the Jolly Roger + trailer for Froinlavin, with Froinlavin's brand-new wheel, which would be more efficient and also more pleasant to ride home in the dark. I made it about 3 blocks from home on Froinlavin (hearing an odd clicking sound) before I realized I wasn't carrying my pannier with spare tools and cell phone and sunglasses. Back home. Then I made it about a third of the way out to the lake before getting the first of three flats, and quickly discovering that I'd failed to tighten the cassette's lockring when I swapped wheels. When things start to snowball like that, it's time to just throw in the towel, turn around, and go home. So much for rowing.
Maybe I could conclude the week by being pissed off and upset at humanity both individually and in the collective for all of the pain and suffering that occurs in the world and in my daily life. Maybe I should dwell on my imperfections and re-experience them in excruciating detail, spend time agonizing over all of the fun things I'm missing out on all of the time.
But sorry, pushback. As I wrote not too long ago, I do think there's an element of choice to how we spend our mental energies. That doesn't mean "suppress bad feelings," but don't seek out things that amplify them pointlessly (I'm looking at you, TeeVee News Media). Simple psychological experiments have actually shown that if people are made to arrange their facial features in a smile-like expression, they report more positive emotions and respond more positively to events*. The self-fulfilling prophecy can be positive OR negative, depending on what is prophesied. "Regression to the mean" will factor in, too. All of these might be why we can find incredible and beautiful expressions of humanity in people who have survived genocides, not universally bitter, alienated, isolated persons. Not saying it's easy, though the struggle through will probably be worthwhile.
I'm not advocating blind optimism. Just saying that, when the demons arise, take it as a sign to seek out the positive and the life-affirming. Respond by reaching out, not retracting. Here are a few such things for me, right now.
http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/ (This is so fun. I think you'll see what I mean.)
Robin Williams talking about the dark side of humor in an interview with Terry Gross - but read the last thing he says in the "choice excerpts," which is part of why he resonates with so many people, and why we're grateful for him even while sad about a beautiful life cut short.
Coping with uncertainty - again, useful to remember that this is part of our shared human experience.
*Standard caveats for psychological research apply.
But it has been a difficult week, on both superficial and deep levels, so my mind has primarily been elsewhere. I'm only going to talk about one superficial example: on Tuesday, after posting about bike commuting, I experienced catastrophic bike-transit failure - so catastrophic it was pretty much ridiculous. I needed to get stuff at the library on the main campus, so towards the end of the day I biked over there, hauling the bike trailer. That took longer than I'd hoped, so there I was, running late, with all the extra weight and the bike trailer, trying to hustle my bustle out to Lake Bryan. I'd had the idea of stopping by the homestead to swap out the Jolly Roger + trailer for Froinlavin, with Froinlavin's brand-new wheel, which would be more efficient and also more pleasant to ride home in the dark. I made it about 3 blocks from home on Froinlavin (hearing an odd clicking sound) before I realized I wasn't carrying my pannier with spare tools and cell phone and sunglasses. Back home. Then I made it about a third of the way out to the lake before getting the first of three flats, and quickly discovering that I'd failed to tighten the cassette's lockring when I swapped wheels. When things start to snowball like that, it's time to just throw in the towel, turn around, and go home. So much for rowing.
Maybe I could conclude the week by being pissed off and upset at humanity both individually and in the collective for all of the pain and suffering that occurs in the world and in my daily life. Maybe I should dwell on my imperfections and re-experience them in excruciating detail, spend time agonizing over all of the fun things I'm missing out on all of the time.
But sorry, pushback. As I wrote not too long ago, I do think there's an element of choice to how we spend our mental energies. That doesn't mean "suppress bad feelings," but don't seek out things that amplify them pointlessly (I'm looking at you, TeeVee News Media). Simple psychological experiments have actually shown that if people are made to arrange their facial features in a smile-like expression, they report more positive emotions and respond more positively to events*. The self-fulfilling prophecy can be positive OR negative, depending on what is prophesied. "Regression to the mean" will factor in, too. All of these might be why we can find incredible and beautiful expressions of humanity in people who have survived genocides, not universally bitter, alienated, isolated persons. Not saying it's easy, though the struggle through will probably be worthwhile.
I'm not advocating blind optimism. Just saying that, when the demons arise, take it as a sign to seek out the positive and the life-affirming. Respond by reaching out, not retracting. Here are a few such things for me, right now.
http://momastery.com/blog/2014/08/11/give-liberty-give-debt/ (This is so fun. I think you'll see what I mean.)
Robin Williams talking about the dark side of humor in an interview with Terry Gross - but read the last thing he says in the "choice excerpts," which is part of why he resonates with so many people, and why we're grateful for him even while sad about a beautiful life cut short.
Coping with uncertainty - again, useful to remember that this is part of our shared human experience.
*Standard caveats for psychological research apply.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 07:24 pm (UTC)"the greatest challenge of living with true humanity is to turn toward the uncomfortable suffering of others, instead of away."
At the moment, I have nothing else to add. Breathe in, breathe out. Breath, at least, we have for now.
no subject
Date: 2014-08-15 07:58 pm (UTC)http://hextrovert.tumblr.com/post/94822018457/helping-a-depressed-friend-my-two-cents