Blargh.

[rebeccmeister]

Blarghasaurus Rex. This teaching gig is kind of rough. There are two hours of lecture every day, which I must attend. I also have to hold 2 hours of office hours each week. That's a total of 12 hours of face time, plus the inevitable additional time right before and after class.

There are a total of 10 problem sets for students to complete during the class, so between the two of us TAs, we will each grade 5. I spent the entire afternoon yesterday completing the first one, and from the looks of things, almost the entire afternoon today grading the second one (I took a "break" briefly to work on an experiment with D, and just now to write this).

Someday, maybe I'll get to do science again. This mostly stresses me out because I'm still delaying the start of the summer's Big Experiment. I need to do some data analyses before I start the experiment because I need to make sure I'll get some cool and useful information out of it.

In some respects, this stresses me out. In other respects, I just figure, well, trying to graduate 1.5 years from now is a lofty goal, given my many unknowns, and hopefully things will work out okay even if I don't make that time deadline. Either way, I'm clearly going to have to work my tail off. It all makes me wonder, does anybody ever really figure out the whole work-life balance thing? I suppose there are some who feel they do, and I'd guess it's not actually people with inherited wealth. I have to wonder if it's based on a person's personality in such a way that it's hard to switch from feeling imbalanced to feeling balanced.

I know that my type of academic work inherently involves a lot of crests and troughs, but I'm still uncertain about whether or not I handle them appropriately, and I still wonder if I really actually work hard enough, with the proper focus on the proper subjects.

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Also, don't write prescriptive responses in the comments on this post, because, well, that's just annoying. But go ahead and write reflective responses. :-)

Comments

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

In the Netherlands, if someone requests a reduced work schedule (4 days/week) they legally have to grant it. It's mostly used by people with young kids, and is used by both men and women - guys will say things like "Oh, I can't come to that meeting because Wednesdays are my Daddy Day." Combine that with people mostly leaving after 8 hours work, and I suppose a lot of people here probably do feel they have a decent work/life balance, though there are still complaints.

I'd bet the majority of people working on a doctorate do worry about whether they're working hard enough, and that the ones who don't worry are most often the ones who are *not* working hard enough. (And the ones who do worry, are.) Though worry is probably most likely among those who think about things - I mean, not just their research, but life in general. I always enjoy reading your posts about teaching and researching because you're so mindful and you consider so many interesting aspects of it.

[bluepapercup]

I think the work-life balance is especially difficult in academia. Often at a private-sector or government job, there are concrete things to be accomplished in a week or month, and those tasks can be parceled out such that it seems reasonable to go home after 8 or 9 hours in a day.

I think that in research there is the feeling (and it's part of the culture, I think) that one could always be doing more. That there is infinite work to be done and infinite effort you could be bending toward some fuzzy goal.

Add that to the demands of teaching, and it becomes easy to spend nearly all one's life at school, and then feel guilty in one's "life" hours, because one is reflecting on how much more they should be doing.

I don't think it's that extreme for everyone, but I watch colleagues struggle with it, I watch professors struggle with it, and I've certainly been plagued with the thoughts myself.

I'll echo dichroic's sentiment, though, that you are exceptionally thoughtful about all of this. I think that will help you to maintain more of a balance where other people might be less mindful of it.