Hard to be at home [cats]

I lost track of how many little habits were built around the presence of the cat, like: don't leave papers at the edges of tables so there's enough room for the cat to jump on the tables. Same for leaving things on the footstool/box thing she liked to perch on and that served as a step up to the side table in the dining room. Then there's her favorite radiator, where she liked to get pets and then reach out to attack if I stopped petting her. Plus the favorite spots where she would come and find me and curl up, either nearby or on me. The way she would greet me at the door when I got home every day (you might think cats aren't dogs, but they do care). The way she would intercalate herself between me and the computer, as if to hint where priorities should lie. Her insistence on evening Kitty Lap Time. Her ferocious love of her mouse on a wire. She stayed playful very close to the end.

I miss the subtle background noise of paws hitting the floor when landing.

I will most likely adopt another cat, maybe two, but not until January at the very earliest. There's no way to replicate Emma's origins, but I think the best way to honor her memory will be to adopt a cat in need of a home. I don't yet know what that will look like. Part of me wants to establish a vet closer to home before doing anything else, given how impossible that was for Emma.