New Yorker
Nov. 15th, 2021 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rebeccmeisterTwo of the benefits of having briefly traveled are: (1) having some time to just think instead of constantly doing things, as I am wont to do; and (2) a chance for perspective on my life in this place.
That leads me to: When talking about New Yorkers and what it's like to live in New York, S's overall summary is, "New Yorkers have no chill!"
I've been continuing to try and think about how else to articulate my experience of the place and local culture, because just as Texas wasn't entirely comfortable, New York isn't entirely comfortable, either, but in different ways. I can point to New York weddings as a clear example of things: a huge amount of fuss goes into the arrangement of an experience to try and make the experience as close to some conception of "perfect" as possible; all the expectations that feed into that concept create a tremendous amount of work for the parties involved, and as a West Coaster I can't help thinking that there are easier and simpler ways to do things with dramatically lower personal costs. But I guess not everyone views a wedding as a simple celebration and community affirmation.
In addition, the whole New York wedding standard isn't a standard that's equally achievable by all of the people who live here, but anything else that anyone else does still winds up happening relative to that standard, because that standard creates context. Even if a person tries to escape it, they're still acting in reference to it.
An alternate way to articulate the New York experience, for me, is to think back to that high-pitched whining noise that electronics make, that most people stop being able to hear as they get older because we all destroy the sensitive hair cells that can detect sounds in that range. Living here is like being subject to that high-pitched whine almost all the time. It's a noise that one can mostly ignore, except the long-term impact of being exposed to it is draining. When I step away to a different place, I notice how peaceful and quiet it is.
I think I might need to put more effort into finding either bike friends or ceramics friends out here. And for the bike friends, it may wind up being up to me to create the activities/events to attract the kinds of bike people I'm after. When I look back to the people who have been chill and fun to be around, the common denominator has been bicycling.
...in my copious spare time, of course.
That leads me to: When talking about New Yorkers and what it's like to live in New York, S's overall summary is, "New Yorkers have no chill!"
I've been continuing to try and think about how else to articulate my experience of the place and local culture, because just as Texas wasn't entirely comfortable, New York isn't entirely comfortable, either, but in different ways. I can point to New York weddings as a clear example of things: a huge amount of fuss goes into the arrangement of an experience to try and make the experience as close to some conception of "perfect" as possible; all the expectations that feed into that concept create a tremendous amount of work for the parties involved, and as a West Coaster I can't help thinking that there are easier and simpler ways to do things with dramatically lower personal costs. But I guess not everyone views a wedding as a simple celebration and community affirmation.
In addition, the whole New York wedding standard isn't a standard that's equally achievable by all of the people who live here, but anything else that anyone else does still winds up happening relative to that standard, because that standard creates context. Even if a person tries to escape it, they're still acting in reference to it.
An alternate way to articulate the New York experience, for me, is to think back to that high-pitched whining noise that electronics make, that most people stop being able to hear as they get older because we all destroy the sensitive hair cells that can detect sounds in that range. Living here is like being subject to that high-pitched whine almost all the time. It's a noise that one can mostly ignore, except the long-term impact of being exposed to it is draining. When I step away to a different place, I notice how peaceful and quiet it is.
I think I might need to put more effort into finding either bike friends or ceramics friends out here. And for the bike friends, it may wind up being up to me to create the activities/events to attract the kinds of bike people I'm after. When I look back to the people who have been chill and fun to be around, the common denominator has been bicycling.
...in my copious spare time, of course.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-15 07:41 pm (UTC)And I think New York has plenty of chill. Which leads me to wonder how S is defining "chill"? 😊
That said, in my experience, it does become harder and harder to find friends as one gets older, and I'm guessing if you're trying to find friends among a largely coupled, children-ed cohort or among a cohort that's aiming for a coupled, children-ed future, you will strike out. Your principal interests and priorities are too unalike.
There's a fabulous kiln and ceramics collective in Ulster County, maybe 15 miles outside Ellenville, I visited once last year. The women seemed very interesting to me. But not enough to take up ceramics as a pasttime, which would be the only way I'd get to hang out with them. 😊. I think you'd need a car to take advantage of that. But I could get you the contact info if you're interested.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-15 08:17 pm (UTC)I think S's opinion is informed by public encounters with NY drivers and New Yorkers in grocery stores. He did not appreciate Californians in grocery stores, either, though.
no subject
Date: 2021-11-17 01:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-11-17 02:30 pm (UTC)