Three dreams
Mar. 22nd, 2015 08:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rebeccmeisterThe last time we spoke on the phone, right before his birthday, my father brought up the subject of dreams, and asked if dreams had any meaning. I believe I stammered out something about how, in the very least, they can have powerful personal meaning. He told me of a beautiful dream he'd had recently.
After my last post, written at such a painful time of night, I went back and read over a lengthy e-mail exchange from this past October, written when I was able to use the internet as a communication medium in a safe space. I have only just regained that ability here in Lincoln yesterday; the neighbors finally shared their wifi network name and password (I've been refusing to shell out that much money for yet one more extravagance for myself, but have been working on the situation). Up until now, I had to go to a public space (cafe) or to my shared office. I could get LJ posts to work from the phone, but that was it.
Then, back to sleep, where I had three back-to-back dreams.
In the first dream, I was taking a bath in a giant bathtub. Partway through, a tiny young girl, either a second younger sister or some younger clone of myself, came into the bathroom, and asked what I was doing. She told me, in her small child's voice, that she never took baths, only showers, and was amazed by what I was doing, as I unplugged the tub and watched all the water swirl out. I was struck by a need to take care of this fragile young girl.
In the second dream, I was leaving from somewhere, late at night, on my bicycle, riding to somewhere else unknown. As I rode towards a pitch-black forest, I realized I didn't have my bike's headlight, so I got off of my bicycle to walk. Just then, a shadowy man leapt out of the bushes, holding a gun and pointing it to my head. I remembered thinking that I should fight, and began to struggle with the hand that held the gun, trying to wrest it away, less afraid of the bullet than of the consequences of compliance. The hand was forceful and strongly resisted, and the dream ended.
In the third dream, I was with S, at the dark edges of a gas station, where we'd broken down in our small car while traveling from places unknown to places unknown. Four men were also nearby, rummaging through some of their own things, as it seemed they had broken down as well. Suddenly, one of the four whirled around and pointed a gun at us, and was quickly joined by one of his accomplices. They herded us over to their car, and I started to get a sinking feeling that they were about to take absolutely everything from us. S let out a sad sigh, and tossed over his wallet. The first gunman pulled out a piece of paper - S's license or identity document of some sort - and began slashing through it with a knife.
Then I woke up, crying.
Today I will go on a bike ride.
After my last post, written at such a painful time of night, I went back and read over a lengthy e-mail exchange from this past October, written when I was able to use the internet as a communication medium in a safe space. I have only just regained that ability here in Lincoln yesterday; the neighbors finally shared their wifi network name and password (I've been refusing to shell out that much money for yet one more extravagance for myself, but have been working on the situation). Up until now, I had to go to a public space (cafe) or to my shared office. I could get LJ posts to work from the phone, but that was it.
Then, back to sleep, where I had three back-to-back dreams.
In the first dream, I was taking a bath in a giant bathtub. Partway through, a tiny young girl, either a second younger sister or some younger clone of myself, came into the bathroom, and asked what I was doing. She told me, in her small child's voice, that she never took baths, only showers, and was amazed by what I was doing, as I unplugged the tub and watched all the water swirl out. I was struck by a need to take care of this fragile young girl.
In the second dream, I was leaving from somewhere, late at night, on my bicycle, riding to somewhere else unknown. As I rode towards a pitch-black forest, I realized I didn't have my bike's headlight, so I got off of my bicycle to walk. Just then, a shadowy man leapt out of the bushes, holding a gun and pointing it to my head. I remembered thinking that I should fight, and began to struggle with the hand that held the gun, trying to wrest it away, less afraid of the bullet than of the consequences of compliance. The hand was forceful and strongly resisted, and the dream ended.
In the third dream, I was with S, at the dark edges of a gas station, where we'd broken down in our small car while traveling from places unknown to places unknown. Four men were also nearby, rummaging through some of their own things, as it seemed they had broken down as well. Suddenly, one of the four whirled around and pointed a gun at us, and was quickly joined by one of his accomplices. They herded us over to their car, and I started to get a sinking feeling that they were about to take absolutely everything from us. S let out a sad sigh, and tossed over his wallet. The first gunman pulled out a piece of paper - S's license or identity document of some sort - and began slashing through it with a knife.
Then I woke up, crying.
Today I will go on a bike ride.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-03-22 03:24 pm (UTC)I hope the bike ride is wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2015-03-24 03:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-03-23 05:38 am (UTC)Hugs and love, girl. All the hugs and all the love. I also hope the ride was a good one.
prrrsss....