Women Don't Ask
Oct. 13th, 2010 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rebeccmeisterThese days I am reading a book that was recommended to me quite some time ago by a former roommate, entitled Women Don't Ask. The book is about how differences between men and women in negotiating styles have far-reaching effects on the economic status of women, and how this affects the potential for societal change and equality among different types of people. Although the focus is on women, many of the underlying psychological elements could be applied to any minority groups that experience discrimination - for instance, it would be interesting to re-read the book as Nerds Don't Ask (if you are someone like ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scrottie).
As an example: in the Social Psychology class I took as an undergraduate, we spent time learning about concepts like stereotype threats, but in the context of racial stereotypes, not gender stereotypes.
I can't really summarize the book because it covers a range of complex subjects. But simply reading a well-articulated description of the behavioral differences between men and women was enlightening. I don't know that I could easily summarize those differences, except to say that my classmates and I certainly noticed them in our all-girls school, compared to our experiences in coed environments, especially in terms of leadership roles. I'm grateful I attended an all-girls school because it gave me confidence to become a leader.
A big part of the reason I'm reading the book right now is because I know I'm going to be doing a lot of negotiating while I explore my future job options, and I want to be as prepared as possible for those negotiations. The book has addressed many of my misgivings about things - feeling like I'm not qualified to become a Research I professor, for instance. I'm highly aware that women at my stage in the academic game start to drop out at precipitous rates, due to a whole range of cultural factors that are associated with personal misgivings and gender roles that make competitive academic games less appealing. I have stuck with academics this far simply because of the encouragement of multiple (amazing) female role models, and I want to provide that type of encouragement to other people. I strongly believe that empowering women can enrich the whole human experience, as women bring useful skills and perspectives into the mix.
The chapter I just finished reading was all about negative perceptions of women in positions of power. Apparently, when women assume leadership roles, if they behave in the same fashion as men in exactly the same leadership roles, they are often perceived as being "the bitch." Personally, I don't know of anybody who wants to be perceived that way, or treated that way. Ideally, I'd like to have the freedom to be an effective leader, where I'm called to be a leader. So one solution that the authors propose for equality is NOT for women to behave like men, but for women to recognize differences in leadership skills, and to play the game differently (this is ignoring the fact that women aren't really interested in playing the same game anyway). Another solution the authors propose is for women to take initiative to create their own organizations or workplaces, following their own set of norms and ideals. They also suggest relying on different types of social networks than the more traditional social networks (good old boy clubs) used by men.
Anyway. Long story short, there are a lot of topics in the book to think about, and overall I'm grateful to see a lot of things explained clearly, and I'm grateful for the inspiration to be a force for positive change in the world.
scrottie).As an example: in the Social Psychology class I took as an undergraduate, we spent time learning about concepts like stereotype threats, but in the context of racial stereotypes, not gender stereotypes.
I can't really summarize the book because it covers a range of complex subjects. But simply reading a well-articulated description of the behavioral differences between men and women was enlightening. I don't know that I could easily summarize those differences, except to say that my classmates and I certainly noticed them in our all-girls school, compared to our experiences in coed environments, especially in terms of leadership roles. I'm grateful I attended an all-girls school because it gave me confidence to become a leader.
A big part of the reason I'm reading the book right now is because I know I'm going to be doing a lot of negotiating while I explore my future job options, and I want to be as prepared as possible for those negotiations. The book has addressed many of my misgivings about things - feeling like I'm not qualified to become a Research I professor, for instance. I'm highly aware that women at my stage in the academic game start to drop out at precipitous rates, due to a whole range of cultural factors that are associated with personal misgivings and gender roles that make competitive academic games less appealing. I have stuck with academics this far simply because of the encouragement of multiple (amazing) female role models, and I want to provide that type of encouragement to other people. I strongly believe that empowering women can enrich the whole human experience, as women bring useful skills and perspectives into the mix.
The chapter I just finished reading was all about negative perceptions of women in positions of power. Apparently, when women assume leadership roles, if they behave in the same fashion as men in exactly the same leadership roles, they are often perceived as being "the bitch." Personally, I don't know of anybody who wants to be perceived that way, or treated that way. Ideally, I'd like to have the freedom to be an effective leader, where I'm called to be a leader. So one solution that the authors propose for equality is NOT for women to behave like men, but for women to recognize differences in leadership skills, and to play the game differently (this is ignoring the fact that women aren't really interested in playing the same game anyway). Another solution the authors propose is for women to take initiative to create their own organizations or workplaces, following their own set of norms and ideals. They also suggest relying on different types of social networks than the more traditional social networks (good old boy clubs) used by men.
Anyway. Long story short, there are a lot of topics in the book to think about, and overall I'm grateful to see a lot of things explained clearly, and I'm grateful for the inspiration to be a force for positive change in the world.
Empowering women for alternative workplace styles
Date: 2010-10-14 03:36 am (UTC)Re: Empowering women for alternative workplace styles
Date: 2010-10-14 09:03 pm (UTC)My fundamental interest in the subject is tied to an interest in the question of the human condition. I really think women bring a lot to the table in terms of a broad perspective on what constitutes success and well-being.