Note to self

Caffeine after noon=still bad idea.

Fun, though.

Sometimes my absolute favorite part of parties is riding my bike there and riding my bike home again. This is not to deny that parties themseles are fun, but to note that I enjoy the quiet night that precedes and follows the party.

Sports Psychology

It has been interesting to see the highly varied reactions that friends and acquaintances have had when they hear that I have run a marathon or they ask about the marathon. So far, these reactions range from, "Who cares? You're crazy." to "That's incredible. I'd like to run a marathon some day. What was it like?" The thing of it is, I guess my reaction to the whole experience is shaped in part by the reactions of my social circle.

One of the most important components of a sport for me is goal-setting and goal-meeting. For example, I have an extremely hard time convincing myself to get out of bed and go rowing at 4 am if I cannot see some larger purpose behind it. On one level, sports should be fun to do. At the same time, sports can potentially help one develop into a better person. When I personally think about the marathon, I see the marathon itself as only one event in a larger process. I must also consider that kihle and I sat down back in August to think about how we were going to reach that goal, the marathon, planning out our weekly runs and how we were going to keep ourselves motivated. There were some mornings during the training when I had a hard time getting up or a hard time completing the run. The 22-mile run that kihle, T and I completed in mid-December was just about as big of a challenge as the actual marathon.

The reaction that I have had to consider the most is the "Who cares?" reaction. I have been giving my housemates a hard time about this reaction because they did not deem it important to attend the actual marathon, although at this time I'm doing it mostly to be an annoyance. At the same time, getting that reaction and dismisssal from S last night made me extremely angry, which is why I am compelled to write this year.

On the other hand, I have greatly valued the moral support ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_support ) provided by both my fellow marathoners and the friends that came to cheer us on, as well as from more distant parties, such as my parents. With any goal, whether it's obtaining a Ph.D., learning how to knit, moving across the country, or managing one's finances better, it's important to have the support of one's community when one faces a challenge. The "Who cares?" reaction devalues one's effort and makes me wonder, if nobody cares, why even bother getting out of bed in the morning? Inasmuch as I have a hard time imagining how my actions might affect my placement in some celestial afterlife, I am nonetheless compelled to get out explore and understand myself and the world around me. Is it hope? Is it disillusionment? Is it a social contract of some sort? Is it a search for some ephemeral truth? Is it sheer entertainment and debauchery? Does it matter?

Actually, I'll tell you a secret. Shortly after I started training for the marathon, Zack went missing on Mt. Rainier and in the back of my mind I have dedicated the whole process and the run itself to him. In many respects, Zack was crazy, but he was a dreamer. Not only that, but he lived his dreams to the fullest. How can I not honor that sentiment?

It doesn't matter if it's a marathon (which has so many social associations/implications attached to it, after all) or just getting up and going for a walk, or committing time to becoming a better person in some other way, does it?

/rant

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The previous post reminds me that it is actually really, really hard to make me angry. Briefly annoyed, yes, but I will get over most things quickly. Anger is more difficult because it can be imprudent, so if I am to reach that point, I must justify it to myself.

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1. What do you normally eat for breakfast?

Oatmeal, a poached egg and toast, hashed browns and eggs, or pancakes. It depends on the day. But I am not much of a cereal eater. It wears off too quickly. Oh, and a glass of chocolate soymilk (strange, I know, but tasty, and it has lots of vitamin B12).

2. Are you more likely to drink coffee or tea?

I wish I could still say tea, somehow. I have an average of one latte a day.

3. Would you consider yourself a good cook?

Perhaps a story about my father answers the question best. My mother used to do most of the cooking when I was growing up, but on occasion she wouldn't have enough time to make dinner and my dad would volunteer for the job. Often he would make breakfast for dinner, which was always tasty, but every once and a while he would make some new dish that we had never had before, and it would invariably be delicious. When complimented, however, he would invariably reply, "I just followed the recipe."

Somehow this is how I consider my own cooking skills. I am quite pleased with them personally and will readily cook for others, but I also do get stuck in routines.

4. What is your favorite meal?

A well-made latte and freshly-baked croissant from Le Fournil, a French bakery in Seattle.

5. Green eggs and ham: would you eat it?

Alas, it is not vegetarian. But I would eat the eggs because they sound curious.