rebeccmeister: (Default)
[personal profile] rebeccmeister
It has been interesting to see the highly varied reactions that friends and acquaintances have had when they hear that I have run a marathon or they ask about the marathon. So far, these reactions range from, "Who cares? You're crazy." to "That's incredible. I'd like to run a marathon some day. What was it like?" The thing of it is, I guess my reaction to the whole experience is shaped in part by the reactions of my social circle.

One of the most important components of a sport for me is goal-setting and goal-meeting. For example, I have an extremely hard time convincing myself to get out of bed and go rowing at 4 am if I cannot see some larger purpose behind it. On one level, sports should be fun to do. At the same time, sports can potentially help one develop into a better person. When I personally think about the marathon, I see the marathon itself as only one event in a larger process. I must also consider that [livejournal.com profile] kihle and I sat down back in August to think about how we were going to reach that goal, the marathon, planning out our weekly runs and how we were going to keep ourselves motivated. There were some mornings during the training when I had a hard time getting up or a hard time completing the run. The 22-mile run that kihle, T and I completed in mid-December was just about as big of a challenge as the actual marathon.

The reaction that I have had to consider the most is the "Who cares?" reaction. I have been giving my housemates a hard time about this reaction because they did not deem it important to attend the actual marathon, although at this time I'm doing it mostly to be an annoyance. At the same time, getting that reaction and dismisssal from S last night made me extremely angry, which is why I am compelled to write this year.

On the other hand, I have greatly valued the moral support ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_support ) provided by both my fellow marathoners and the friends that came to cheer us on, as well as from more distant parties, such as my parents. With any goal, whether it's obtaining a Ph.D., learning how to knit, moving across the country, or managing one's finances better, it's important to have the support of one's community when one faces a challenge. The "Who cares?" reaction devalues one's effort and makes me wonder, if nobody cares, why even bother getting out of bed in the morning? Inasmuch as I have a hard time imagining how my actions might affect my placement in some celestial afterlife, I am nonetheless compelled to get out explore and understand myself and the world around me. Is it hope? Is it disillusionment? Is it a social contract of some sort? Is it a search for some ephemeral truth? Is it sheer entertainment and debauchery? Does it matter?

Actually, I'll tell you a secret. Shortly after I started training for the marathon, Zack went missing on Mt. Rainier and in the back of my mind I have dedicated the whole process and the run itself to him. In many respects, Zack was crazy, but he was a dreamer. Not only that, but he lived his dreams to the fullest. How can I not honor that sentiment?

It doesn't matter if it's a marathon (which has so many social associations/implications attached to it, after all) or just getting up and going for a walk, or committing time to becoming a better person in some other way, does it?

/rant

Date: 2006-01-21 05:01 pm (UTC)
bluepapercup: (angry erika)
From: [personal profile] bluepapercup
Fascinating.

I TOTALLY understand. It's very similar to my life these past six months.

*offers empathy*

Date: 2006-01-21 05:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gfrancie.livejournal.com
Fuck the apathetic and run like the wind!

Date: 2006-01-21 08:06 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-01-21 05:09 pm (UTC)
bluepapercup: (burning man sunset)
From: [personal profile] bluepapercup
Also, becuase I posted too soon:

There are very few things in life that *really* get under my skin, but a "Who cares?" attitude will do it every time.

Your whole process of coping and dealing and coming to terms with Zach's death has been very moving to watch. I know that had I gone through that grieving process there is no way I wouldn't have wanted to dedicate my next big endeavour to his memory. Any of us who strive have some of that dreamer in us, and going for goals such as marathons (or moving to California!) is a way of saying, "I might not be nuts, but I'm a little crazy, and that's a GOOD thing." It's that spirit of "Why Not!" that drives all great dreams.

I think you have done a wonderful job of honoring Zach's spirit and memory. I don't see you stopping your own dreaming anytime soon.

Date: 2006-01-21 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] boolean263.livejournal.com
People are actually closedminded enough to say "who cares?" to your face? Man, that's low. Those are less than people. I know it's easy to say, but don't let them ruin something you enjoy so much. Your reason is your own, and you don't need to justify it to anyone else.

Date: 2006-01-22 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] figment80.livejournal.com
Just so you know (and because everything is about me in my little brain ;)), not coming wasn't meant to be interpreted as a lack of support. On the one hand, I didn't realize it was that important to you - I kind of felt like with all of the people there, I'd get lost in the crowd and never really see you anyway. Plus, I needed someone to go with me, and that someone slept in a bit late to go to the finish line. I know needing that might seem silly, but there are a lot of personal connotations tied up in finish lines for me, and I don't want to pick at those scabs - I'm trying really hard to just let the wounds heal. With someone else there with me, I might have been distracted enough not to think about those connections too much, but anyway...it would have actually been pretty hard on me. But it's not that I didn't/don't care. I'm impressed and amazed with the effort, even more so because of the nobler cause it's associated with. If I say you're crazy, it's really just a bit of jealousy - running a marathon is something that I will never be able to do, for a number of reasons - my own health issues, and also goal-directedness/being dedicated enough to something to get up early in the morning and experience pain ;)

I'd also like to say that moral support comes in different forms - in my case, training pasta and orange juice ;) Ultimately, my point is that being there isn't the only way to care. I don't know if any of this helps you understand the reactions of others, but at least it might help with understanding me.

Profile

rebeccmeister: (Default)
rebeccmeister

July 2025

S M T W T F S
  1 2345
6 7 8 910 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 1819
2021 22 23 24 25 26
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 27th, 2025 01:19 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios