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rebeccmeisterSome time ago I jumped on the trend of watching cleaning videos on the internet, but in my case particularly videos by a neurodivergent person who runs a cleaning business and who donates time and effort to helping out people with hoarding disorders where he can. What I appreciate most about the work is that it involves a sympathetic/empathetic approach, where the goal is to try and develop methods to help people that don't involve forcing things in ways that can potentiate trauma.
Anyway, one of the videos in particular is stuck in my mind, because as the cleaning person works he describes in voiceover some of the patterns he's observed when helping people with ADHD-related hoarding clear out the excess stuff they've accumulated. Specifically, the types of things he finds, over and over again, and what he thinks might be going on with them, such as:
-Jars full of sand or rocks or seashells: collected with the idea that the jar will help the person remember some special place or trip. These are usually unlabeled, and if they're being cleared out that means they didn't actually make it all the way to being put on display somehow.
-Ink pens, so many pens. This might be a "just in case" thing? Yes, much is centered around the possibility of an item, so if there's any possible way a thing might be useful, it is kept.
-Notebooks or journals, usually either blank or with 1-2 pages written on, the rest blank. Related to the excitement around resolving to do something new, to possibility. But then, a lack of follow-through, probably as possibility turns into overwhelm.
-Important stuff intermingled with random stuff - e.g. needed paperwork mixed in with junk mail - which happens with the idea that "I'll just go through this later," except "later" almost never arrives. And the unsorted paperwork tends to accumulate. Manuals, old bills, old programs, birthday cards, and more. I'm personally grateful to a DW blogger for help with how to set up a low-spoons filing system for the actually important paperwork.
-Baskets of loose change.
-Collections - except, they aren't displayed in any way, items are just stashed away in bags and boxes.
Anyway, I think about this video often when trying to organize my own stuff, when out shopping or somewhere where there might be an impulse to acquire a thing, and when visiting the family members and friends I know well enough that I can poke and prod their stuff. This trip, for instance, I've gone through and tested all of the markers, Sharpies, and pencils sitting organized at this desk in the basement, and thinned out the ones that no longer work. (I should note, my mom has been working on conscientiously paring down stuff in this house for very a long time now; she's not a hoarder but generally wants things that can be reused to get reused, and much of the stuff I go through is stuff my siblings and I abandoned at home when we moved away).
In 2026 in New York, I'll continue working on stuff and things in 3 different places: at home, at work, and at the boathouse. Work is probably the space with the most junk at the moment, but I swear there's a reason I have that bowl full of seashells in there.
Anyway, one of the videos in particular is stuck in my mind, because as the cleaning person works he describes in voiceover some of the patterns he's observed when helping people with ADHD-related hoarding clear out the excess stuff they've accumulated. Specifically, the types of things he finds, over and over again, and what he thinks might be going on with them, such as:
-Jars full of sand or rocks or seashells: collected with the idea that the jar will help the person remember some special place or trip. These are usually unlabeled, and if they're being cleared out that means they didn't actually make it all the way to being put on display somehow.
-Ink pens, so many pens. This might be a "just in case" thing? Yes, much is centered around the possibility of an item, so if there's any possible way a thing might be useful, it is kept.
-Notebooks or journals, usually either blank or with 1-2 pages written on, the rest blank. Related to the excitement around resolving to do something new, to possibility. But then, a lack of follow-through, probably as possibility turns into overwhelm.
-Important stuff intermingled with random stuff - e.g. needed paperwork mixed in with junk mail - which happens with the idea that "I'll just go through this later," except "later" almost never arrives. And the unsorted paperwork tends to accumulate. Manuals, old bills, old programs, birthday cards, and more. I'm personally grateful to a DW blogger for help with how to set up a low-spoons filing system for the actually important paperwork.
-Baskets of loose change.
-Collections - except, they aren't displayed in any way, items are just stashed away in bags and boxes.
Anyway, I think about this video often when trying to organize my own stuff, when out shopping or somewhere where there might be an impulse to acquire a thing, and when visiting the family members and friends I know well enough that I can poke and prod their stuff. This trip, for instance, I've gone through and tested all of the markers, Sharpies, and pencils sitting organized at this desk in the basement, and thinned out the ones that no longer work. (I should note, my mom has been working on conscientiously paring down stuff in this house for very a long time now; she's not a hoarder but generally wants things that can be reused to get reused, and much of the stuff I go through is stuff my siblings and I abandoned at home when we moved away).
In 2026 in New York, I'll continue working on stuff and things in 3 different places: at home, at work, and at the boathouse. Work is probably the space with the most junk at the moment, but I swear there's a reason I have that bowl full of seashells in there.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 12:32 am (UTC)I am not immune. We are going to move to a smaller home are working to get rid of more stuff. I still find weird things that I've kept. Today I found a little bag of beach glass. Every beach used to have it, but not anymore; bottles are now plastic, not glass. I probably saved it thinking I would make a mosaic. Do I make mosaics? No, I do not. Yet, here it is, lovely and rare blue beach glass.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 04:17 am (UTC)I LOVE jewelry made with beach glass! But that doesn't help your dilemma much. What I CAN say is that there are a surprising number of places that would appreciate donations of craft-related items, and beach glass might just qualify. Maybe someone else will wind up making the mosaic for you!
no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 01:21 am (UTC)I've been helping her for four and a half years, and I am always amazed at her emotional process for getting rid of stuff. I have helped her get rid of SOOOO much stuff, sometimes in ways that are perhaps a little underhanded or surreptitious. Sometimes things leave the house under false pretenses and clothed in white lies, but I am okay with that. I have had to be very patient and plant suggestions which she doesn't act on until she's ready.
I'm good friends with her daughter, who is an even worse hoarder and has a wife with significant mental illness who is also a compulsive shopper, so their house is already a terrifying Pit of Stuff. Momma has no interest in cleaning out the house completely and has stated her intent that when she eventually starts to decline she wants to die at home surrounded by all of her beloved belongings. I know that when Momma dies, her daughter will be completely emotionally paralyzed by the volume of stuff, and it will take over their lives and I am scared for them.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 04:20 am (UTC)Recently I've been taking something of an alternate perspective with myself: I only have so much time and energy, if my time and energy are limited, what are my actual priorities, out of the billions of projects and activities I could take on? Can that help me let go of some projects and types of stuff?
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Date: 2025-12-30 02:25 am (UTC)I grabbed the buckets, put the shells in the potted plants, and hid the buckets in my car to get rid of later. Later she said, "Those shells look so pretty in the plants."
I write a lot so the pen and notebook turnover is pretty swift.
I also make sure to Call Someone Else when starting a new project. Attorney had the French Press, John's sister had the pastry bags: I needed for the Hello Kitty project.
Mom has mountains of stuff but somehow rarely what I need, she does come over and raid my yarn though :)
Eric accuses me of hoarding yarn but he has NO IDEA how much yarn 1 blanket takes, let alone the 2 blankets and 1 rug that fit on my loom at the same time. It's a lot, so much.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 04:13 am (UTC)No, you USE the yarn. THAT is a key difference! Really great point about Calling Someone Else. I don't know enough other project people in New York, I think, but I'm happy to loan out what I have!
One of the other things from the video that was a useful idea, was to have each room or space have a specific purpose. Apparently it's the catchall rooms that contribute the most to chaos. You definitely have each room with a purpose, too.
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Date: 2025-12-30 04:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 05:14 pm (UTC)For the bowl of shells that I have, I was envisioning some sort of mosaic someday. They aren't particularly pretty shells, though, so hopefully eventually I'll find a corner for offloading them.
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Date: 2025-12-30 05:43 am (UTC)All that said, I struggle with keeping the house cleared out. There is always clutter, but at least I periodically go through and clear out until all is clean and neat for at least a few days!
Rocks are good. Rocks can come home and have a place in the garden!
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Date: 2025-12-30 05:12 pm (UTC)Tools are SO HARD. I haven't figured out how to keep them all organized yet. I DO use most of them, though.
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Date: 2025-12-30 03:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-12-30 05:11 pm (UTC)