The tiredness of struggling to get up and leave

[rebeccmeister]

Today's labs required a lot of talking on my part.

I'd kind of forgotten what that was like, for some reason.

It's time to go home but I'm tired enough it's hard to get up to get ready to leave.

At least two colleagues have posted links to a paywalled academic thinkpiece about how the pandemic has caused a shift for many academics, from conceptualizing of their work as a vocation, to perceiving it as work. We could navelgaze all day, trying to think about something witty to say about the origins and implications of this sense of detachment.

How big is the existential black hole into which I fell as a postdoc? I don't think I'll ever know, but I will say I'm still among the legions who will self-report feeling a prolonged sense of being worn down by life at this stage, whether that means the pandemic or otherwise.

I would not have celebrated leaving academia, either. I don't see any nobility either way.

sudo systemctl hibernate

Comments

[moodyduck]

My employer is setting up a new performance review system (again) which is good in the sense that no one liked the last one. This is to focus on goals and coaching. Goals are fine but... seriously all I want is to do some science without losing my mind in the process. It's not like I don't have any goals, but it feels like work is saying "performing at the same level despite the pandemic and everything isn't enough! We want you to strive for more!"

I'm taking a 25% pay cut because I need to make things more sane then I have been. Really not having to do that would be nice.