Dilemmas [rowing]

Here's a current big dilemma for me. When I made the switch to rowing with the Arizona Outlaws, they taught me about the Concept2 online logbook as a training and motivation tool. Naturally, I joined the Arizona Outlaws virtual team. The number of people on the virtual team has ebbed and flowed, but we're still managing to hang on to a pretty good team ranking, all things considered (48th out of almost 2000 teams created for this year). The team ranking is simply a matter of the total number of meters each team gets in - it doesn't matter how fast you row and erg, you just have to put in the mileage.

To give you a sense of the impact of the online logbook on me: since I have a SpeedCoach with a GPS unit, I can track how many meters I row every time I get on the water. Even at times when I don't really need the SpeedCoach, I still bring it in the boat with me to track meters so I can log my meters on the Concept2 logbook. The logbook has kept me going at times when I haven't had much else - i.e. spans when I couldn't row in Texas or Nebraska.

I believe I'm also a pretty good meter contributor for our online team (at the moment, 4th out of 18 of us).

The dilemma: Am I at a point where I should really switch over to the Albany Rowing Center? Right now there are only 6 Club members who log meters for ARC. I want to encourage more club members to get involved in logging their meters because I really believe in the logbook's power as a motivational tool, but it's kind of disingenuous to do so if I'm still logging for some other team.

I just....especially during the Holiday Challenge I like to keep tabs on where I am compared to my Outlaw teammates.

Argh.

I am hoping that dichroic will weigh in.

Manifestations (notes to self)

1. The insomnia - 2 am wake ups - continues. Even on nights when I would think I could be at ease. Thankfully Emma is settling down better (though still not perfect, but hey, she's a cat).

2. My appetite is frustrating me. I can understand my body's instinct to crave fresh fruit during the middle of summer when I'm living somewhere that's ridiculously hot, but all told, it really hasn't been that hot here. But my body is still telling me that the things I usually eat for lunch are too heavy and intense, but then it's also telling me that it's hungry and it just doesn't seem like fruit alone is going to satisfy its calorie needs. Hmm, maybe more liquid calories, I suppose.

This is what it's like to be a person whose stress response includes a lack of appetite.

I don't know whether the heightened anxiety is mostly due to dealing with rowing-related things, or whether it's a component of processing grief. I mean, it's most likely both combined. And on a certain level I just need to be patient about it all and line things up to take care of myself as best I can manage. Also, yes, multivitamins and bananas.