I'm blessed by your sharing. In raising you, I got an new (to me) idea that differed from the way I was raised. The idea was that the goal of being a parent is to "empower" you to be your most authentic self, rather than to control you. I lacked skills for this and had to rely on many others to help. Over the years I've been learning to be empowered myself. In work with mothers and children I learn much: wonderful models of ways of engaging to really help a child thrive. And the reverse, how "control" isn't helpful. I wish I knew then what I know now, but I guess the best anyone can do is to "go with what you've got" at the time.
Mom